Vis Platinées, Vice Caché?..

For many winter week I tell propriétaire I need new points. (Vis platinées). He say me "Charlotte, you just being bipolaire bi-cylindre as usual, no bloomin'worry"
On Saturday I show him: coldest day of year in afternoon I make cough on one cylinder, then no cylinder at all. "Who you call bi-cylindre now?" I say him.
He go get trailer and proper flash Xantia estate (only 450 000 kms clock), then blow in breathe bag for pock-face gendarme next to church while he winch me on. Gendarme he not smile because just zero reading. He just say "attrapez le tube" and leave propriétaire plastic pipe, which propriétaire put on big parcel shelf of Charlotte while he think some smartarse use for bit of disposable breathe-tube. I give him one idea or two. .
We laughing and me and propriétaire friends again.

Charlotte and Nearly Sunset

Today mon propriétaire drive me five kilomètres to sunset. He say me "Charlotte, sunset with winter bluesky mistletoe in peuplier trees very atmosphérique".

Only problem: he arrive five minute too late because he stop to talk to he friend Roger in wine cellar.

I tell you about joke they make pretty soon.

To compense for no sun, I make yellow feature with headlamp from 1971, when all cars in France must have this colour. Now I am only one, so everybody recognising me when after dark time comes. Propriétaire think this is "original" and "vintage".

I tell him to get one life.

Charlotte and Shitlagoon

Today mon propriétaire take photo of me in front of shitlagoon. We have very raining winter this year. Now with come of spring, shitlagoon will overflood into river when farmer man do dambuster with smart new tractor, and poop wave will take away many oxygène for fishes.

Mon propriétaire make quiet word with farmer man, who nod to him with mask of smile and call him French for "tête de dick rosbif" in his head. I just make raspberry from exhaust.

And nobody don't smell nothing...